Sunday, November 7, 2010

Live from bummerland

I've been looking online for a job or a miracle, in hopes of being able to earn enough money to help us out, but avoid sending the kids to daycare, and the logistical nightmare that presents. And of course in an attempt to get to stay home with the younger ones a bit longer.
Sadly, I've been off the market too long. On the shelf, Out of the loop, and really any number of other metaphors. It all adds up to the same thing- I've got no job, no options because I have no recent experience, or useful skills, and I'm starting to dream of just getting in the car and driving until I can't drive any further to escape my life.

Christmas is creeping closer, and again this year I have unsuccessfully tried to stand firm with my family in my refusal to exchange gifts with everyone . How many crappy dollar store mugs do I need to get as a gift? I really don't want or need any more stuff.
Well, there is stuff I need, but they are things so expensive that we can't afford to repair or replace them, so neither will anyone else, or things I just want, well, I don't necessarily really need those.  
I really need to come up with a viable option for earning money.I'm afraid of failure, and frankly I just don't know what options are out there. It seems like none. I'm certainly open to receiving a miracle, or finding viable online, at home job opportunities.
I wish I could go back 15 years or so and make a whole different string of decisions leading up to this day.
Ah, sweet melancholy fall, and the crushing horrid expense of Christmas, family gatherings, winter gear and ...well, everything! That's all the whining from bummerland for today!

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