Saturday, December 21, 2013

Unsuccessful weeks

Lately I've been feeling frustrated.  The kids have been spending a lot of time inside, making huge irritating messes, my son's asthma has been flaring up with a vengeance, meaning he is having trouble spending time outside . The attacks ratchet up his anxiety and his grumpiness, which increases his less desirable behaviours. I'm waking up feeling like I've run a marathon in my sleep (frankly the only way I will ever run one).  I'm cranky and snappy, and even acknowledging and trying to control my bitchiness isn't helping.  I've come to loathe Christmas and preparing for it isn't helping.  So much stress about  family that doesn't like each other,and where will we gather, what about presents, and shopping! Gah! People. Everywhere. Bumping. Pushing.So loud.  It's not for me.  I lack any religious affinity for Christmas, so the whole thing is becoming a high pressured money and emotional suck for me.  I wanted to pack up the kids and drive south the second school got out on Thursday.  Then I remembered that we had a year where no breadwinning income came in for 7 months . Yeah. And so I didn't pack the car and flee the madness
I can't wait for it to be over, and that makes me sad because I remember how excited I was as a kid, and I wonder what's wrong with me.  
I can't even come up with a parenting success recently. So I've had nothing good to report for weeks.  
Wait. My 4 yo baked for one of his teachers. And I let him.  Well, I did the in and out of the oven parts    I guess that counts. He made fortune cookies as one of the things for his teacher and came up with the things to say, completely on his own. I helped him spell, but I didn't correct his handwriting.