A good morning

Not gonna lie.  Most mornings trying to get my youngest up and out the door are less than stellar.  

If you looked up difficult in the dictionary, there's a good chance it says "getting z motivated and ready for school in the morning"

But yesterday he magically woke up without crying! Then he ate his breakfast! And he was so excited that he ran to the kitchen where I was making lunches, bowl in hand.  A glass bowl.  As he ran he was twisting the bowl with pride, showing me the emptiness of it.   And then, like a missile, it shot from his hands ( that's why we don't run with bowls!) bounced off the cabinet, ricocheted and slammed into the side of my ankle so hard that I screamed loud enough that the teen in my upstairs bathroom checked to see if I was ok. I truly thought my ankle was broken. 

There is a dent there, where my bone used to stick out. That's what passes for a good morning here.   Kid you not.  This is the bowl that attacked me.  Not even a dent.  Unlike my ankle .

All I want for Christmas...

So my husband asked me what I would like for Christmas this year. I haven't given him a list yet, because in reality, my list would read something like this-and I know it's not what he's looking for.

1. 5 effing minutes to myself.  

Seriously, the list could stop there. But it won't.

2. My boobs back. 

Someone slapped some saggy 40 year old milk bags on my front and took off with mine while I was sleeping. Not sure when, since I haven't slept more than 2 hours in about 6 years. 

3. No belly fat. (hey if someone can steal my boobs in the night, why can't they make my fat disappear?)

4. Just 1 dinner where I don't have to help another person eat. Or go to the bathroom, or blow their nose or get ketchup, or  anything other than eating.

5. A turn in the bathroom where I'm actually alone. The.entire.time.

6. Shopping for a few hours without kids. 'Cause I can't even make a list of things I'd like because I don't even know what's out there.

7. 5 more minutes to myself. Because I'd like some minutes in the bank for future use.