Never give a nude kid an Ipad

I'm sitting in the living room waiting while the kids go up and get into their pj's upstairs. My son was carrying his iPad after taking his clothes off, I guess... because next thing I hear is... 'hey, B did you know that a penis works the iPad? I can use it like my finger! It's so cool.'
The conversation I was having with dh trailed off as we heard the word penis.  "eww! Z that's gross!"  his sister yelled.
'No, look, look! It works, for real!'
"He's using the ipad with his penis!."
'yeah, but it works! ' He is triumphant. Thrilled by his discovery. At this point, dh is laughing too hard to intervene and I have to be the grown up who chokes down the laughter. Which I do. Barely. Long enough to yell-"don't touch the ipad (insert laugh cough here) with anything but your hands! Now get your clothes on!"  DH is killing himself laughing. Seriously. Likely just jealous he didn't think of trying it first.
I have no idea what possesses that kids sometimes. But that is why people don't hang about nude in our house.
Yes, I disinfected the Ipad.

Argh!

 

 Success: I didn't hide in a closet crying today instead of momming up.  Though I wanted to.  Momming up is akin to the phrase "manning up/ man up" but for moms of every variety who have wanted to run and hide... But didn't (or can't. Whatever) and trudged on through whiny sticky days ...

You know how as a parent sometimes you have great days, or good days, or even mediocre days? And sometimes you don't? I'm currently in a phase where I'm not having great days.  I've been having less than stellar parenting days for the last week roughly.  

Maybe it's the season change. Perhaps my offspring love time outs.Could be a contest my kids are having to see who can make me crack first.  I don't know. All I can say kids, is that if you are trying to make me want to run away and join the circus... Well , I've got tripadvisor open in another tab. 

Success #2

Parenting success: I remembered to wash a load of stuffed animals that they mentioned smelled stale and that they wished daddy would wash.  They were both very happy to come home to fresh fluffy friends. Yay me!

Today's non-success. (I've decided failure is too harsh):  Bedtime. Sleep has not been achieved after 1 hour. 

It was not a great day overall, in terms of kids' behaviour.   My little grump woke up in an unpredictable mood and was a devil to keep moving and getting ready for school.  Even now, 15 hours after he woke  up, he's still awake. He had school and then played at the park for an hour and half before dinner and then we played outside  again after dinner. He should be asleep.  He is not.  He is driving me, and his sister,  absolutely teeth grittingly, batty.    "Mom, do termites have ears?  ". Me "shh".  

"  Mom, wouldn't it be weird if during feu rouge, feu verts, people still went even on the rouge?"

Me. Yes weird. Now, Shhhhhh!!!!

"Mom, guess what happened at school today?" 

Me *screaming in my head*

And his sister shouting from her bed "be quiet!!"