All I want for Christmas...

So my husband asked me what I would like for Christmas this year. I haven't given him a list yet, because in reality, my list would read something like this-and I know it's not what he's looking for.

1. 5 effing minutes to myself.  

Seriously, the list could stop there. But it won't.

2. My boobs back. 

Someone slapped some saggy 40 year old milk bags on my front and took off with mine while I was sleeping. Not sure when, since I haven't slept more than 2 hours in about 6 years. 

3. No belly fat. (hey if someone can steal my boobs in the night, why can't they make my fat disappear?)

4. Just 1 dinner where I don't have to help another person eat. Or go to the bathroom, or blow their nose or get ketchup, or  anything other than eating.

5. A turn in the bathroom where I'm actually alone. The.entire.time.

6. Shopping for a few hours without kids. 'Cause I can't even make a list of things I'd like because I don't even know what's out there.

7. 5 more minutes to myself. Because I'd like some minutes in the bank for future use.