Spring is coming

Spring is coming. That's my mantra. It has been a cold dreary winter up to this point. Well, until the other day. The sun has been out two days in the last week. It's a mood lifter, that's for sure!
At this point, there are 63 days until the official arrival of Spring.   But every day lasts a little longer and the nights get a little shorter, and I swear that even at -22 I feel a bit of warmth in the air. I can't wait until going outside means simply tossing on sandals and heading out.
Spring. That has to be one of the best words in the English language.

Soundtracking our lives

We arrive late every morning to my youngest's school, partly by design in order to accommodate his SPD  and partly because I'm me. Let's be honest, with three schools to drop off at, my goal is to get to the last one within 10 minutes of bell time.
Friday morning is "DANCE DAY!"  Shout it with enthusiasm because all 300 of the kids in the school certainly do. Yes, it's a hyped up energetic dancing segment where all the staff and students dance their butts off. It's lasts 5 minutes max, but if we miss it, the kids act like I ate their last Lindt chocolate square or something.
As we were racing out of the car this morning a version of footloose was blaring from the outdoor loudspeakers-   My son, in all seriousness turns to me while running and says " It's like we're in a movie right now, and the music is for our dramatic scene while we run. We should be YouTubers or something!"
This kid kills me. He does like to soundtrack his life, months in advance he planned some ocean themed music for when we were driving to the beach, (it was no music I'd ever heard before). So, who knows- maybe he'll make a career out of creating epic cinematic scores!

Never give a nude kid an Ipad

I'm sitting in the living room waiting while the kids go up and get into their pj's upstairs. My son was carrying his iPad after taking his clothes off, I guess... because next thing I hear is... 'hey, B did you know that a penis works the iPad? I can use it like my finger! It's so cool.'
The conversation I was having with dh trailed off as we heard the word penis.  "eww! Z that's gross!"  his sister yelled.
'No, look, look! It works, for real!'
"He's using the ipad with his penis!."
'yeah, but it works! ' He is triumphant. Thrilled by his discovery. At this point, dh is laughing too hard to intervene and I have to be the grown up who chokes down the laughter. Which I do. Barely. Long enough to yell-"don't touch the ipad (insert laugh cough here) with anything but your hands! Now get your clothes on!"  DH is killing himself laughing. Seriously. Likely just jealous he didn't think of trying it first.
I have no idea what possesses that kids sometimes. But that is why people don't hang about nude in our house.
Yes, I disinfected the Ipad.

Partridge family. Or not.

I was determined to blog more as 2014 began.Mentioning it was the kiss of death I guess. It's been one long dreary winter here and I'm dreaming of escape.

  I found out recently that a mom I know is going to be pulling her kids from school, selling their house and travelling around for a while. I had just been mentioning this to dh the other day as something I'd love to do. 

It's a little awkward when you have two kids nearing the end of high school, who can't just take off, and two young enough to be at the perfect age for it. Of course from a financial standpoint we couldn't do it anyway. But I can dream can't I?  Dh pointed out that we could, in theory travel for the summer months, as long as he can get connectivity for work (and permission to work exclusively from home during that time period).

We could be like the partridge family... without the hippie bus and duds. 

Or singing. Or tambourine playing. We could travel together exploring the country, learning and maybe vlogging the whole scene. Our wonderful family togetherness. Smiles! Adventure! Family high fives! 

Actually it would probably be more like this.

Me: Yay, we're off! 

...

Them: Mo-om! Are we there yet?! 

Me: No (I can still see the driveway in the rearview mirror).

Them: Mom! She's touching my seat!     Am not! That's my part of the seat!

DH: are we there yet? 

Me:Why did this seem like a good idea?

Jan 3 2014

I want to do better this year. I want to write and actually have something to show for it.  I am a terrible blogger-I always begin to write on a topic and then end up so far off on a tangent that I need a gps to get back. Aaand... no matter my intentions, my posts sound like rants. Then I feel bad and almost always hit delete, because my mom always did tell me to be nice or keep it to myself.   I'm going to try to stay on track long enough to write some posts this year.Key word. Try. So, mea culpa reader, because my mind travels where it wants and often forgets to take the map or leave a crumb trail. 

Unsuccessful weeks

Lately I've been feeling frustrated.  The kids have been spending a lot of time inside, making huge irritating messes, my son's asthma has been flaring up with a vengeance, meaning he is having trouble spending time outside . The attacks ratchet up his anxiety and his grumpiness, which increases his less desirable behaviours. I'm waking up feeling like I've run a marathon in my sleep (frankly the only way I will ever run one).  I'm cranky and snappy, and even acknowledging and trying to control my bitchiness isn't helping.  I've come to loathe Christmas and preparing for it isn't helping.  So much stress about  family that doesn't like each other,and where will we gather, what about presents, and shopping! Gah! People. Everywhere. Bumping. Pushing.So loud.  It's not for me.  I lack any religious affinity for Christmas, so the whole thing is becoming a high pressured money and emotional suck for me.  I wanted to pack up the kids and drive south the second school got out on Thursday.  Then I remembered that we had a year where no breadwinning income came in for 7 months . Yeah. And so I didn't pack the car and flee the madness

I can't wait for it to be over, and that makes me sad because I remember how excited I was as a kid, and I wonder what's wrong with me.  

I can't even come up with a parenting success recently. So I've had nothing good to report for weeks.  

Wait. My 4 yo baked for one of his teachers. And I let him.  Well, I did the in and out of the oven parts    I guess that counts. He made fortune cookies as one of the things for his teacher and came up with the things to say, completely on his own. I helped him spell, but I didn't correct his handwriting. 

Ouac navigated!

Parenting success : after much deliberation and research, I helped my oldest son apply to his top university programs of choice.  Number one was a full French program, math and teaching. 

So yay! Success! 🎉

  One child ready to soar on the wings we've helped grow

(I hope he gets in!)

And then I hugged him, and said I was proud he'd made his decisions. Then I went upstairs to lay down with my youngest to help him fall asleep, and cried while writing this blog post. Which is ridiculous.  But whatever.  

 Here he is, way back at 21 months 

A good morning

Not gonna lie.  Most mornings trying to get my youngest up and out the door are less than stellar.  

If you looked up difficult in the dictionary, there's a good chance it says "getting z motivated and ready for school in the morning"

But yesterday he magically woke up without crying! Then he ate his breakfast! And he was so excited that he ran to the kitchen where I was making lunches, bowl in hand.  A glass bowl.  As he ran he was twisting the bowl with pride, showing me the emptiness of it.   And then, like a missile, it shot from his hands ( that's why we don't run with bowls!) bounced off the cabinet, ricocheted and slammed into the side of my ankle so hard that I screamed loud enough that the teen in my upstairs bathroom checked to see if I was ok. I truly thought my ankle was broken. 

There is a dent there, where my bone used to stick out. That's what passes for a good morning here.   Kid you not.  This is the bowl that attacked me.  Not even a dent.  Unlike my ankle .

Argh!

 

 Success: I didn't hide in a closet crying today instead of momming up.  Though I wanted to.  Momming up is akin to the phrase "manning up/ man up" but for moms of every variety who have wanted to run and hide... But didn't (or can't. Whatever) and trudged on through whiny sticky days ...

You know how as a parent sometimes you have great days, or good days, or even mediocre days? And sometimes you don't? I'm currently in a phase where I'm not having great days.  I've been having less than stellar parenting days for the last week roughly.  

Maybe it's the season change. Perhaps my offspring love time outs.Could be a contest my kids are having to see who can make me crack first.  I don't know. All I can say kids, is that if you are trying to make me want to run away and join the circus... Well , I've got tripadvisor open in another tab. 

Parenting success

It turns out that coming up with a successful parenting thing every day isn't that easy. But today was more of a vague thing-  I was proud  that my daughter ran in the cross country meet,and that her focus was on fun, rather than the place that she came in. 

Questionable Success OCT 4

Success: Despite being awake all night last night, I stayed awake all day and remembered to feed and take kids to school, and to pick them up.

What? Like that doesn't count? It counts. I  even made meals and stuff.
So, maybe as a success, that's a bit questionable. But, whatever. I need the back pat. I'm exhausted. Yay me.

This one's a draw.

Today's success: We were on time for school, and although my youngest was sniffling when I said goodbye, he went willingly to join the name hunt activity his class was doing. And then I learned later from his planning time teacher that he put his hand up and was participating. YAY!   so...all kids out the door, and at school on time.
Failure: Child number three called home sick at lunchtime. Sigh. Can't win 'em all.

On the bright side it's 26 degrees in October! So lovely out.

Success #2

Parenting success: I remembered to wash a load of stuffed animals that they mentioned smelled stale and that they wished daddy would wash.  They were both very happy to come home to fresh fluffy friends. Yay me!

Today's non-success. (I've decided failure is too harsh):  Bedtime. Sleep has not been achieved after 1 hour. 

It was not a great day overall, in terms of kids' behaviour.   My little grump woke up in an unpredictable mood and was a devil to keep moving and getting ready for school.  Even now, 15 hours after he woke  up, he's still awake. He had school and then played at the park for an hour and half before dinner and then we played outside  again after dinner. He should be asleep.  He is not.  He is driving me, and his sister,  absolutely teeth grittingly, batty.    "Mom, do termites have ears?  ". Me "shh".  

"  Mom, wouldn't it be weird if during feu rouge, feu verts, people still went even on the rouge?"

Me. Yes weird. Now, Shhhhhh!!!!

"Mom, guess what happened at school today?" 

Me *screaming in my head*

And his sister shouting from her bed "be quiet!!"

Parenting success. Day 1

Parenting success: I did french braided pig tails for my daughter.
Parenting failure: I accidentally deleted the photo I took of my first successful attempt

Go ahead. Laugh. Feel smug.  Braiding. Big deal you say.   But my daughter has super straight, resistant to styling hair. Truth.
She can't even keep pigtails in throughout the day, they eventually slide out-  and anyone who has seen me knows that my hair is the opposite. It's just plain crazy and resists any attempts to be neat. How we have two such opposite hair types, I will never know.  But today, I did it! She left the house with her hair in two neat braided lines from the top of her head.
Yay me. Hey, if we parents don't pat our own backs, who will?

Today is a sunny day at the end of over a week of less than stellar occurences in my life.
Right this second there is a child standing on the chair I'm sitting on pretending to eat sparkles from the air, which sadly are likely dust motes.
As always, I'm only a few sentences in and already miles off topic. I found this cool old cookbook/yearbook put out in 1912 by a company called Nyal's. They clearly put it out as a promo to try and sell their own products, but looking through it is a total peek into Canada's past in many ways. Other than the fact that it lists the weather predictions for the year, by month, the horoscopes, and a bunch of things like measure conversions for baking etc- it also lists Canadian facts as they were then - Canada had the largest buffalo herd on the continent. Gooo Canada!
There were some interesting "Household Hints" as well. For example
In buying fish, the gills should be red.


Corns promptly removed by Nyal's corn remover. 25c a bottle.


Sprinkle places infested by ants with borax and you will soon be rid of them.
(modern version. give the kids a shoe. environmentally friendly...)

A true test for eggs is to drop them in water, and if they long end comes up , they are fresh.


Paint stains that are dry and old may be removed from cotton or woollen goods with chloroform. It is a good plan to first cover the spot with olive oil or butter.   (well geez I need to get down to the kidnapper store and get myself some chloroform! I didn't even know people could buy that.)

When a broom becomes shorter on one side, and the ends of the straws become sharp as needles, dip it into hot water, trim it neatly and evently with the shears, and you will find a broom nearly as good as new.


That's all I have for right now- though the book is chock full of interesting ideas. I'll have to post later on the benefits of ironing lice off of your hair and stuff. Good times to be had there for sure!

Snow painting

This winter has been a shockingly skimpy snow year for us where we live. And I'm not complaining. it also was fairly warm overall this winter. A handful of days where the windchill made the kids cry, that's it.
But... with not much snow, there is not much for the kids to do outside. The ground alternates between mushy and muddy to frozen and filled with sharp ice.  When we got a nice fresh snow cover the other day, followed by only mildly chilly weather, I sent the kids out to play, only to watch them slip on the barely covered ice yard, and not be able to roll up a decent snow ball even. I decided to let them get a little artistic, and paint the yard.
I'd done this before with my older kids, and have once done it during a party where it was so cold the "paint" was freezing before they could even squeeze it out. They had a blast though!

This time I had only two empty bottles that were squeezable, so I poked some holes in the lids, filled them with water and a few drops of food colouring. My little two loved it! They came back for a refill so many times that we ran out of liquid food colouring, as we used up a box of 4 colours-which I don't think I'd even opened before that.  It's good relatively clean fun! And if it's cold enough out, the water freezes and any food colouring that gets on their clothes can be brushed off pretty quickly.

Parenting a success when you're a failure...

In the terms of society, I am a failure. Anything I try to do doesn't work. A few business ventures I have attempted in the past didn't work out. Too soon, too late, whatever. I was clueless as a child- as an example, I never heard of soccer until I was in university. I didn't know people with kids could live in apartments. I lived in a rural place and  seriously this was before satellite TV and internet, it was before computers even.For a rural kid, there was not another way to get information really. I didn't even know that moms could work full time. Unless they were divorced. All the moms I knew pretty much worked p/t if at all, because who has time to work when you are running a farm and raising 4 kids? My dad used to get back from the city around 6:30 at night , often later. His attentions were not focused on teaching me the ways of the world. There is always stuff to be done on a farm, and once my brother started hockey, my dad coached that in the winter and baseball in the summer.
As a whole, I am not a successful adult. I got pregnant in University, where I only ended up by chance and I didn't even really understand the options available to me. It's hard to believe, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only kid out there in my generation who had no idea the plethora of educational opportunities available at university. I met someone taking B-Ed and I remember the slow dawning in my brain, like wow,you go to University to become a teacher? I felt so stupid.  But ...anyway, I have a BA, Honours at that, in a program that only accepted 25 or so kids so I guess that's pretty alright. Impractical, but better than nothing.
I worked two jobs while pregnant and finishing school, for as long as I could , but quit the one when I realized around  that the chemicals might not be great for the baby. (again, no internet existed, there were not a lot of ways to look up information outside of what was provided by the Dr or the library.).
Luckily I was an avid reader from age 5 on, and have learned a lot from books, otherwise I wouldn't even be a functioning adult I'm sure of that.
How will I be able to raise my kids to be able to be adults, with jobs and friends and a happy life?.
I have done my best to encourage them toward real jobs in the real world. Starting early discussing possibilities, pointing out different jobs as we encounter them, or even those we don't- marine biologist, genetic engineer, teacher, manager, so many job possibilities out there. Things I never dreamed existed.
I am smart, don't get me wrong- Testing wise anyway.I left high school with a very solid A average (nearing an A+ if it weren't for math dragging my average down.) I am well read. Classics, new stuff, whatever, I read it all, always have. Ok, so I haven't read Stephen Hawkings -brief history of time, nor the Briefer history of time, because I just haven't yet. Have you?
My concerns are many for my children. The world has changed so rapidly in the last 20 short years. It's hard to believe, but 30-31 years ago we didn't even own a VCR, and a non 8track tape deck was a big deal still. Prices have skyrocketed out of control, compared to incomes.
How can I prepare the kids for life in this world that spins and changes with such speed that I can barely hold onto it myself? What will their lives be like in 5-10 years ? Am I preparing them for jobs that will be of no value? Right now my son wants to pursue computer science as a University major, or a math related opportunity. My daughter is toying with environmental sciences, planning, etc. (Even now I don't truly understand the opportunities I am attempting to position my kids for! )  We can't afford expensive music lessons or camps. Most days we can barely afford milk to be honest. I just don't know how I can make my kids a success in life -and by this I don't mean a CEO, I just mean successfully happy, and able to be self sufficient and have a treat  like a trip or new shoes now and then.
If I could go back and do it again, I would. I'd have to go pretty far back, but I think to give my kids a stronger chance for a good future, I'd do it.  

Divination by Apples

Way back in the stone ages- (in the 70's and early 80's when I was a kid), there were many tried and true divination methods used for determining your future spouse. Since most of us were saddled with apples in our lunches most of the time, apple prediction became a popular pasttime. The idea was to hold your apple, then turn the stem, with each turn saying one alphabet letter. Then when the stem popped out, that was the first letter of your future partner's first name. No matter what I did, I always managed to get either the Letter E, or the letter C as the first one, and always the letter B . Which bugged me as a child because the only person I knew with the initials EB was my grandfather. Certainly not the boy I had a crush on from SK to Gr6! At any rate, I wrote the whole apple thing off as a fraud. Until grade 10, when I fell in highschool love with a boy who had the initials CB. Ahhh, a match made in heaven! And it lasted right up until the end of the school year. le sigh. Then for over two years I dated a bad letter combo, MH. What on earth I was thinking, I really can't say. I escaped that abuse finally and promptly met a CB- hooray! Sweet guy, tutored me in Math, which I wanted to upgrade. And then he had the nerve to move. Not just to another town, but he moved to Ireland for University. That was back in the days before the computer and the internet. Keeping in touch meant horrid cross atlantic phone calls. We parted as great friends- Then another bad choice ...or a few...then an LB. Pretty close right? L could be mistaken for C if your handwriting was shite and you squinted. That relationship only lasted until third year University, the power of the predicting apples was so strong! Shortly after that one ended, I met a guy, he was a friend of an acquaintance i had met once, my ex-boyfriend's twin brother's ex-girlfriend's ex room mate's friend to be exact- not my type really- His name turned out to be Ed. Last name started with a B. It also turned out his first name on his birth certificate started with a C. So, covering all the bases there, EB, CB. I would like to say, we lived happily ever after-but the apples of my childhood couldn't guarantee that I suppose. We did get married after we knew each other almost 6 weeks. We are still together almost 17 years, and 4 kids later, so hey who knows. maybe those apples knew what they were doing when their little stems twisted off in the E or C spot each time! And no, I didn't plan my life around the apple, it just amuses me that things worked out this way.

SAHM -synonym for lonely, or maybe acronym for Sits At Home Moping

When i thought of stay at home mom's ,before I was one, I pictured cutesy groups of lululemon sportin' moms with their styling kids having coffee and hanging at the park, or the beach, their houses, whatever. Sipping icey drinks,laughing,like yaya sisterhood of the travelling pants ( a combo of the fun,faith, and loyalty of the two movies).
I imagined myself with friends to hang with, bounce momtastic ideas off, our kids would be like siblings in their familiarity and comfort level in one another's homes.
Alas, it is not so. Finding friends is like dating. You have to attract them, have similar values and time availabilites.Thankfully you don't have to worry they will want you to put out at the end of every playdate.
I have lost more than one friend through their return to their career,(or moving away, or divorcing and moving away.) followed by the insane busy lifestyle that goes along with that.
It is hard not to worry that it is me and I am just unfriendable. The thin fancy moms have zero trouble finding a clique that wants to hang out a few times a week, hosting playdates, taking walks,joining school council together, or just doing whatever.
I have tried all the traditional mom meeting methods. Parks, playgroups, classes,school. My dd's jk class was almost exclusively bussed last year. Try getting to know other parents then!
The plain truth is I am so brutally lonely and my kids are never the right age group to ones that attend the same classes as us. Or they are only available evenings/ weekends, when I am not. Everyone else also seems to have great houses, cleaned to perfection. It is so discouraging.
I vow to get out to more things and stop living like a hermit. If I can get anyone to talk to me that is.I am running, working out, and hopefully getting the witchlike mole removed from my face, and who knows, maybe I will find some compatible friends then?

Summer thrills...

School's out, and I say hooray! And for me the countdown begins. Not the excited counting the days for the kids to return to school, more like the bummed countdown of how fast the summer is flying by.
It's all bittersweet to me these days. Each passing day, every moment of growth and discovery the kids make is another day closer to their own adulthood. Next September marks the start of SK for my youngest girl, and grade 10 for my oldest son. When their feet spring out the door that day, I will hear their steps echoing away into adulthood, and I am excited for them as well as filled with wrenching sorrow that their steps must necessarily carry them away from me.
However, that day is approximately 52 days away, and I will try to remain carefree and enjoy summer with them while I can.
So far the youngest ones have been enrolled in some classes at the early years, and we've been busy with dental appointments and Drs and all that thrilling stuff. We took a trip to visit my husband's family in the bustling metropolis of Cornwall, On.
The younger kids had good time, it was their first time camping, although we did that in my FIL's motorhome so I am not entirely sure it counted as camping. We got to go for a boat ride, visit a cottage, hike, visit 2 sets of their grandparents,stopped at the Big Apple in Coburg, took a trip to Prehistoric world, and BBQ'd it up with family.
All the kids got to see fireflies for the first time. There were so many it was really lovely.
The first morning we woke up after not really sleeping,and Zans was in a foul mood so we drove to a local Tim Horton's for coffees and a treat for the kids. We were going to take the ramp to the 401 to Cornwall, but then I spotted the East Montreal one...and off toward Montreal we went!
We didn't go all the way there though, just as far as Dorion. Bailey really had to pee of course, so we just popped into the golden arches. She thought it was cool to be peeing in Quebec, though she was disappointed in the lack of French flags. I guess we've done most of our travelling through the States, where flags are in abundance.
Now Zander keeps saying he wants to go back to "The Bus" as he called the motorhome, and the beach. Poor guy, doesn't realize how FAR it was, in traffic....
Bailey was excited to get to class the day after we came back. I naively thought she couldn't wait to tell her friends about the dinosaur exhibit or the boat ride/swimming in the St Lawrence. What does she say as she bolts from the car in excitement? "I can't wait to tell Lainey that I peed in Quebec! "
Of course that was the highlight of the trip. I guess when we drive to Maine in August I should find a lot of special bathrooms for her to stop in and impress her friends!