Monday, January 23, 2012

10 words to describe parenthood (to start)

Lately I've been  reading blogs about parenting, and insightful, inspiring and well written. I don't feel like my thoughts on parenting will ever be expressed that eloquently. Or in some cases their words cause uproar, outrage or outpouring of sentiment. 
Rather than a long essay on parenthood, and it's ups and downs, I'm just going to jot down the first 10 words that come to mind and describe parenthood in some way! I have a toddler, two teens and an sk, so  that gives you an idea where my parenting experiences are coming from!
1.Bittersweet
2.Poignant
3.Exciting
4.Exhausting
5.Challenging
6.Rewarding
7.Amazing
8.Educational
9.Frustrating
10.Incredible

Friday, January 6, 2012


Sometimes I have ideas for posts and by the time I get to the computer they've slipped completely from my mind. It's absolutely maddening. Other times I'll be writing something and I feel like maybe I ought to not be so frank, or "vulgar" or out there I suppose.  Some days my mind is leaping around like a million tiny grasshoppers on caffeine are in there. Yet the second I touch the keyboard my mind is as blank. 
I suppose it's the need to feel like you are posting something relevant. Why? If no one reads it, does that make it less important? No, either way they're still just my thoughts. 
Dig the photo up above? I took it at the border of Quebec and Vermont, where the kindly border guard let  us use his washroom.  A bit cloudy and hazy, took it with my crummy blackberry camera.
Seriously I had no real idea we were even reaching the border, it was just out on a tiny two lane road in piddly squat no-place. So weird! Canaan, that is where we drove through. I would not suggest going that way- However, it was really beautiful, I've never seen  real mountains, nor have I driven through them before. All the ones near here are older mountains, and worn down, less impressive.  -Blue mountains, etc- 
I didn't love coming down the twisty dirt lane my GPS chose, in the pouring rain feeling like the van was going to have the brakes fail and shoot us over the side...but I digress. The view was stunning .
I have seen pictures of the mountains in Banff, etc and those are so ruggedly awesome. The mountains of Vermont and New Hampshire were so green.  I wish we'd had time on the way back home to stop in a few of the Vermont side of the road stops. There were so many scenic opportunity spots- but we had so far to go and we were not getting anywhere fast. Because I'd blown the power steering fluid cable, but didn't yet know it.
Travelling north through NH and VT we ended up suddenly coming upon the border without being aware we were close. Anyone who has crossed at Niagara Falls on a crap day will know why i say I didn't know the border was coming up. One minute I'm on the highway, then suddenly the gates were right there! At Niagara...well, I have been in traffic about a KM from the bridge entrance waiting to get over. I have waited 3 hours to cross going one direction before. Not a treat. More commonly the wait is between 30 minutes to 1 1/2 hours.  So pulling up and going immediately through a one lane the border was a total novelty to me. Word of warning, anyone going the back roads with kids- there are no places to go to the bathroom for literally hours in the backwoods, and not enough room to pull off the road in a van in most places either. Coming back up the more main highway there were several food and toilet options thank goodness!

Anyway again I'm off track and blabbity blabbing.  Coming back we ended up in Stanhope I think it was called. By this time my power steering was screaming so we got gas and fluid and returned to Canada. Where we were lucky enough to immediately come upon this!

considering we went out of our way once on a road trip to see Foamhenge, coming across the stanstead circle at the 45th parallel was a stroke of absolutely weird happenstance!



Saturday, December 24, 2011

Twas the Night before Christmas 2011

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, the illness was spreading, to even my spouse. the stockings were slung on the couches with care by two of our kids, (the littlest pair) With his blankie and bucket my husband reclines, while i deal the wrapping, sickies and whines and my own rolling stomach gives me despair i know soon my turn to throw up will be there. Then from upstairs, there arose such a clatter, i sprang from my wrapping to see what was the matter and what to my exhausted eyes should appear a miserable teen with the flu i did fear hunched over a bucket, sweating and shaking this illness was not one she was faking her stomach how it quivered, and her smile, how it wavered, her legs were weak and wobbled like jelly this spread through the house so rapid and quick i`m trying my best not to get sick. now the stockings are stuffed, placed here and there Christmas gifts await them, there`s still time to spare, Now there`s a sound from upstairs, so unhappy, run quick oh lovely, my toddler is also now sick. i just sneak a quick rest-, i`ll just shut off this light merry Christmas to all, please no one else barf tonight!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

A morning in the life of uptight boy

I've titled this a morning in the life of, but the reality is, it took only about 15 minutes for him to run the gamut of things to freak out about. These are the things I deal with every morning with him. Sometimes I haven't got the time really, which makes for some bad conflicts and really just slows us down more. Here we go. Me. short on sleep, accidentally fell back asleep after alarm, two teens also overslept due the absence of screaming toddlers acting as alarm clock. Giant pile of dishes cause I had a long council meeting last night and didn't do them when I got home, lunches not made,one child laying on the floor in a blanket claiming to be freezing to death. etc... In the middle of me washing dishes as fast as I can because the lunch containers need to be done, youngest one , my super uptight about everything boy starts to cry- "i'm pooing! " me- you mean peeing? Him, -Yes, it's getting on me! I drop the dish i'm washing and race him upstairs to the potty. It's too late, he has peed in his 'Mater pull up. As I'm pulling the pull up off, i bump his sock, making it slide a smidgen off his foot. Him -HEY! You wrecked my sock! me, "ok, I'm just going to get you new socks and some clothes for today" Taking advantage of his prone position on the toilet, i yank his shirt off and toss his dirty clothes in the hamper. Him, very indignant- I don't want No Shirt! You took my shirt! Me (pulling on his socks) just a sec Him upset- my sock is ruined! (the seam was a millimetre off his toe line. seriously. sadly,-or luckily- I understand how horrid that is.)Me, smoothing it out, nope look it's perfect now. Him, I have no shirt! Me-yes, i'm getting you another one., (which i did lickety split before he could discover the joy of nudity). I opt for his favourite t. Unfortunately I put it on backward. Him, on the verge of hysterical tears now. "it's on wrong, you did it wrong! it's the wrong way, that's not cool dog! " (it has a weiner dog on it, cool dog on front, hot dog on back. sad i know). I get it turned before he can continue in that vein, and slip his pants on before he can notice I got a bit of water on them and get upset about that. Then I go to hurry on with getting everyone else ready, before he can stress about anything else. Does anyone else have a child who is that particular about their clothing and stuff?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

November.

Well somehow we are into November and only a few weeks away from Christmas.Yes that high pitched scream of terror really is coming from me. I haven't got any gifts yet. Seriously, this time of year I'm usually done, but having no money is really cutting into my ability to buy gifts for anyone. Lately we have all been blessed with illness. Couple that with the awesome fun prep I'll be doing for a colonoscopy and endoscopy on Monday, and woohoo what a party! Why on earth is the other thing called an endoscopy anyway? That one isn't going in the back door at all. It's one that goes through the upper half right? I think? I could swear that they were talking about swallowing that one. I'm not sure I'll be swallowing anything the way I'm feeling.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Divination by Apples

Way back in the stone ages- (in the 70's and early 80's when I was a kid), there were many tried and true divination methods used for determining your future spouse. Since most of us were saddled with apples in our lunches most of the time, apple prediction became a popular pasttime. The idea was to hold your apple, then turn the stem, with each turn saying one alphabet letter. Then when the stem popped out, that was the first letter of your future partner's first name. No matter what I did, I always managed to get either the Letter E, or the letter C as the first one, and always the letter B . Which bugged me as a child because the only person I knew with the initials EB was my grandfather. Certainly not the boy I had a crush on from SK to Gr6! At any rate, I wrote the whole apple thing off as a fraud. Until grade 10, when I fell in highschool love with a boy who had the initials CB. Ahhh, a match made in heaven! And it lasted right up until the end of the school year. le sigh. Then for over two years I dated a bad letter combo, MH. What on earth I was thinking, I really can't say. I escaped that abuse finally and promptly met a CB- hooray! Sweet guy, tutored me in Math, which I wanted to upgrade. And then he had the nerve to move. Not just to another town, but he moved to Ireland for University. That was back in the days before the computer and the internet. Keeping in touch meant horrid cross atlantic phone calls. We parted as great friends- Then another bad choice ...or a few...then an LB. Pretty close right? L could be mistaken for C if your handwriting was shite and you squinted. That relationship only lasted until third year University, the power of the predicting apples was so strong! Shortly after that one ended, I met a guy, he was a friend of an acquaintance i had met once, my ex-boyfriend's twin brother's ex-girlfriend's ex room mate's friend to be exact- not my type really- His name turned out to be Ed. Last name started with a B. It also turned out his first name on his birth certificate started with a C. So, covering all the bases there, EB, CB. I would like to say, we lived happily ever after-but the apples of my childhood couldn't guarantee that I suppose. We did get married after we knew each other almost 6 weeks. We are still together almost 17 years, and 4 kids later, so hey who knows. maybe those apples knew what they were doing when their little stems twisted off in the E or C spot each time! And no, I didn't plan my life around the apple, it just amuses me that things worked out this way.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I used to travel up north every summer as a child to visit my Grandparents who lived in Sudbury, Ontario. My Dad grew up there, spending his summers swimming in lake Ramsey, or out at their cottage on Lake Penage- Don't picture anything too fancy, it hadn't changed much by 1998 when it was sold, from how it looked back when it was built in the 1930s or so. (i'll have to ask my dad about what year it was). Anyway, as time went on, the cottage became more accessible by road-I imagine when my dad was a kid it was probably a dirt track going in. When i was a kid you had to walk down from the main road, close to the length of a city block, down a steep hill. Trust me, we tried not to forget anything in the car- plus with bears around, who wanted to be alone running back up there to get it?! As you came down the hill you passed the outhouse, then finally the cottage, built into the side of the rocky northern landscape-. It was a white log cabin like structure with a porch on it,( red as far as I remember)Luckily there was a porch or else we kids would no doubt have fallen and rolled down the hill every time we stepped outside, because that walkway to the water and boathouse/steambath was plenty steep and rocky. Surrounded by pine trees, and the rocky northern landscape,it is burned into my memory, and I wish that my grandparents hadn't insisted on it being sold after my Grandmother's death. The Sudbury of my childhood had very few trees,though by my teen years increasing the height of the big nickle mine smokestack has caused a resurgence in the tree population, and it wasn't as bleak. But still, visits to my grandparent's house were not as fun for us as visiting them at the cottage. We would all tumble out of the sweltering station wagon, hauling pillows and suitcases and make our way down the hill where my grandparent's dog Korky would come racing out barking. My grandmother always seemed to dress the same at the cottage (camp actually. People out there called them camps. I guess because they were hunting camps when they started using them- my grandfather actually had a heart attack while the two of them were deer hunting out there on the icy lake- naturally in the days before phones out there, they weren't able to reach help in time) Anyway, invariably she would come out, a neat tidy woman wearing her slacks or sometimes camp shorts, white socks, white biway sneakers, a cardigan or blouse (depending on how hot it was), and sometimes her white camp hat-tilley style! Her hard little rounded belly when we hugged- and how she seemed to shrink as I got older, caught up and passed her in height finally. You entered into a super organized kitchen, which in turn opened into the other main room which had two walls that were almost all windows (weirdly enough, they didn't open! just tiny circles a the bottom, which had a flip piece of wood that covered them up when it got too chilly. I don't recall it ever being too hot though, except at night). My grandparent's bed was in the corner of the room, away from the windows, on the same side as the cabinets that held the dishes, cutlery, and other cottage necessities. There was a tiny black and white tv that didn't get any channels. A radio from before they invented FM, and the other side of the room held a large table, big enough to fit 8 of us, and afreezer, chock full of food- The one bedroom was through there, we slept in there in bunk beds, the four of us kids, two per bed. I'm guessing that the room was about 7 by 8 at the very most, likely not quite that large even. In later years there was a bedroom added, in an enclosed porch outside , but I only slept in it one or two visits that i recall, with my grandmother. I was terrified of bears coming in and barely slept between the fear and the constant drone of mosquitos. Whenever i was assigned the top bunk in the little room, i would lay awake for hours because the light from over the table shone right in through the window, right into my face-while my parents and grandparents played seemingly endless games of euchre and twenty one. That's something I totally miss about the cottage, cribbage, twenty one, euchre with my grandparents. we really only went there for 2 weeks or so each summer, after we got the haying done, but i have so many memories. One time a baby bear had gotten up a tree right by the cottage door, and there was the risk in case the mama bear was still in the area- Underneath cottage, built into the hill was a big storage area- fridge etc. I'm not sure that my grandparents could close it off, but i feel like the wood and lots of outdoor stuff was stored down there. I used to make my way across the giant rocks along the shore, to the steep rockface just to the right from the camp, between ours and pitkethleys' and pick blueberries from the scrubby little bushes up top. I liked perching up there looking out at the lake, across to the island there, pretending I was the only one around. My favourite thing though was the boathouse which also housed the steam bath. There were bunk beds down there for guests, and my parents usually slept down there- Sometimes i swear I still smell the cedar in the steambath woodstove, heating the rocks to a sizzle- getting to toss a cupful of water onto them was a treat- we'd lay on the benches in there, cool damp wash cloths on our faces , trying to stay cool and remain in there as long as the adults. Then, the door banging shut behind us, we'd race out, feet slapping on the paving stone path, racing across the cement pad to the diving board or water's edge and plunging into the clear chilly lake. In the woods just outside the steam bath , but near the "beach" was where my grandparents parked the little aluminum boat that belonged to my dad, and also where my grandfather (step grandpa really) was often found cleaning fish, in his green workman pants, plaid shirt and fedora hat. Sometimes early mornings he and I would go out fishing, zipping across the lake in the silence of the dawn. I don't think I ever really caught much other than rock bass, but my grandpa would bring back some fish, and we'd be have fresh fried fish for breakfast along with the mountain of toast, bacon and stuff my grandmother used to put out. As I got older, I used to love just sitting on the dock I don't think I realised I missed it this much- One sound that can transport me there is the sound of leaves on the wind. that Rushing sounds that northern trees make, starts far away and building as it reaches the shore, wooshing away over the water. If you haven't heard it, I'm afraid I'm not a good enough writer to convey it. It's a poignant sound to me, one I've come to associate with the end of the summer. When asked to come up with a happiest memory, that is what popped into my head. The sounds I would hear laying in my bunk at night- the rush of the trees, the wind racing though them towards the water, the lapping of the waves on the rocky shore, and the Johnathan G bumping against the sides of the boathouse. I still remember how it felt, to awaken, feeling as though i was on the water, the bunk seeming to rock with the waves- Lake Penage, i miss you so!